Blue Friday

Dearest,

Wake up in the morning, sleep too much. Taking pics at D zzz.
Coc level 8 upgraded. 

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Someone working at home.

Wash bed linens and blankets.

Made Myojo for D, Penang Curry for myself.

Rjrju left Millionaire; his face 180 degree changed. 

Gave notebook he needed for Jap, he Thanks x3? I only heard once except mad at me the way I speak again.

He said going to LH place chanting at 7pm. Last night told me getting flute as I am the last to know what is going on. I am very upset being treated in this way.

Forgot wallet and get it down for D...

Chanting and gongyo in room as someone speaking on phone whole noon.

Very upset... 

The music fill up my loneliness and emotions...

Planning to have dinner in city before meeting up A.M at station for Yuko's chanting. I need that motivation to be better, not being influential by environment.

I know, he won't be here for me tonight. Very busy for everything. No one see my appreciation, I will pay my debt of gratitude for you. Hold my tears and anger.

Talk to you soon again.

xoxo

Exam Day 1

Dearest,

Woke up in tiredness, been rolling a lot of times and awaken in the middle of sleep. Got up at 8.30am, Michael and Jess went to uni early as they were aware time for exam changed. It was mentioned in the revision powerpoint as well as in the revision class last week. Had my usual Maggie+coffee for morning. Get a cuppa at 7-11 Freshwater place, I was told to not tell anyone the return of voucher from the cashier. Lol, aren't they free when you just cashout in any of those 7-11 atm?

Reached uni nearly 11.30am, caught up with Jess, saw Dagny and Winnie, later Claire is here for B2B revision. Booked a room after Michael came in, last revision for Contemporary Employment Issues. Had a good discussion again. 1pm going for lunch with Jess and Dagny at Maccas.

My name was not on the list for exam. I was added last number 52 in overall, sat next to Winnie. Lawrence came and smiling at me and ask How are you, Good luck for exam. Sweat "_"

Exam was okay. Full of confident at first, getting less and less at the back.

Finished exam at 5.12pm, left after washroom. On the way to D at RMIT... Managed to caught the train on time. Received a voicemail from a man - barely understand any of the words except telling me to call back with number. Without anymore thoughts, I just ended and listen to my music.

Had dinner at Hungry Jack with $5 Large Beef Burger meal across RMIT. Head back home drop stuff, movie at Village Cinema Crown - 3D X Men: Days of the Future Past. Village card has 2 $9 tix can be claimed on him. Plus $4 extra because of 3D. Prepared with own 3D glasses. No junk for this time. Brought own Strawberry Pocky and Whittakes White chocolates.

                                                

Before the movie started, I read through e-mails, one of them from dad. No intention on applying visa. Got pretty much upset again. I knew it. I should not expect anything. But 愤气, I am worried. Yes when D asked me, I am very very. Ammie told me chances is very slim, but have faith and focus on exam. Yes, I should not let this put me down. I want to show actual proof.

Home. Called the person drop voicemail. Shower. Waiting brother to send me the futon. I must sell off my things in reasonable price so I could have some money back to keep and save for bonds if I am moving somewhere. I researched on remaining relative visa again - one of the subclass 835 actually available to apply for those who live in Australia. Not as what dad said just only outside of Australia because it is another subclass. However, I am unsure if this must included parent in the visa application.

D get annoyed because he thought I did not invite him for evening gongyo. =/

Night... what an upset day for me.

xoxo

High and Low Monday

Dearest,

Had conversation with H.X. while travelling on train, becoming strong for each other and supportive. Feel so grateful.

Reached uni. Print B2B hardcopy and drop at assignment box. Booked room at 12pm with Michael, Jess and Teresa. Then Winnie came to join us. Had lunch at 1.38pm Maccas. Michael started to ask about my 'boyfriend' and told him is 'Dylan' not your friend Dylan. LOL Explained a bit of background and everyone suddenly get interested in my age. Again! yes after Saturday. Winnie 86, me 87, Teresa 88, Michael and Jess forgotten haha... anyway I was defined as "look like 18". >_<"

I dressed up in peach colour jumper, grey skirt with Myer denim tartan pattern opaque stocking black and red to match my black shoes. Through this look, I think except living in Malaysia. Melburnians can hardly tell what's my exact age :p

Had a lot good discussion even while having Maccas talking about Japan and conversation in Japanese. Michael is gentleman :) offered me to throw away the rubbish. And he started to tease me about spreading rumours and we been talking about T.S. how he treat all the international students with that behaviour. Yuck.

Back to the room, with a little of squishy small room yet fulfilling discussion with examples are important to get through things to be covered in exam. I am so satisfy with discussion :) This is a good proper way to study and learning from each other. That reminds me how Geron teach me a lot for Accounting Principle in my 1st semester with Holmesglen.

Finished uni discussion. Left Holmesglen. Called him. He already at station. Cool. Meet at Flinders Station. Reach before him. Hate waiting and wasting time. Decided to walk home as no response from message. Collected mail, took cape, fill water bottle, pick up his books and games, left. Pwc, he called. Pass him books, can tell clearly written on the face "piss off". Rained, open umbrella. No plan of doing anything. I'm pissed off in my heart, did not show out at all.

Throughout tram journey to Melb Central. Give a very black face to me in public. I am not going to influence by your anger, I tell deeply inside my heart. "Control anger," I said. Still responding rudely to me. Great, silent. Sit down in food court. He sorted out the thing in bag. Environment does not influence my calmness. Continue talking how I feel... already told I need to move out soon and need to pack things, I will get angry when things left at last moment to stress me out. Already told must take these back to your own home to keep if you want. My house is not a store room for your toys. Emotional abusive me in public by giving me that pissed off "black face". I am positive and I will act so! Two or more people have to make efforts to meet each other, not just by your own selfish thought only. Have you put your feet in someone else shoes? Finished uni, straight seeing you and not having proper dinner yet so hungry. Where is the appreciation?

He continue moving on. I asked "where are we going?", "go down", he came to hug and say sorry.
"Well, give me a valid reason when you angry next time". Still... no plan for meeting up the guest. So ridiculous rude when invited someone to meet so early before meeting and wandering around. Should ask the guest if want to have dinner and what preference should go for.

Introduced myself to Toshi-san. Went Max Brenner for a drink. Got 2 mint chocolates and tutti frutti waffle. Somehow we talked about 'Akihabara - otaku' and I forgotten he hate to be defined as that. If that is the case, don't ever tell anyone your definition then.

Chanting for H.X. safe journey, Ethan Lo successful surgery and speedy recover, all students good grade in assignments and exams.

I am very very angry! Stop using "Do you not want to company me?" as threatening! I am not your substitution relative of happiness! Where is my companion when I need you? I just let you do freely whatever you want. Have you consider in my position? Only you are becoming monster right now to keep demanding for your own sake of happiness. Do you ever care about how I feel? I call this 'selfish' attitude from you. You stay after meeting because it's his first time. 3 Monday weeks in the past, I have been going home by myself, so where is my companion that I want? I remember you said to me "Am I not allowed to do my own thing?" it's time for me to return this sentence to you. But without saying that out, I chanted inside my heart throughout the journey walk back to home. Still I feel the sense of anger in myself that can't keep quiet. No. I must breakthrough and not having the same karma.

I'm gonna chant for you still!

xoxo

Saturday

Dearest,

Woke up in a negative mood tearing out of sudden, lacking attention from him, I want some companion but I can't. How can I stay strong this far?

A lot of administration work to written up in my diary and sorting out bills after woke up. Went to Pwc atm the note dispenser started to act weird after the guy. I thought it would spit out some extra cash for me. Sadly it was not happened in the way I hope, walked to 7-11, this month that having the promo of $1 large chocolate or coffee, which is favourite promo to get cheap large coffee.

Managed to did morning prayer while waiting to be pick up. It's a beautiful morning, indeed. Full small car, bunch of pretty girls laughing out loud with free from unhappy. Today, I get to know so much more about Tephanie and A.M.

Back to the brunch journey...all the way to Brighton Old School place. The outlook seems like every other church:

                                                            T-rex is on your companion...

                                                   Outdoor environment, windy and bright

                               Without further delay... let's have a look into the Old School menu
Not to forget to mention, there are some school rules, nurse's office and etc. I really like the layout of the menu, from the right bottom, especially ethical business on 5 cents per coffee goes to ygap.com.au

Eh hem! We are meant to be Term 2 Autumn/Winter 2014 school kids that need to sing school song before the meal... ^_^

                                                    A.M and I love Latte with arts on it $4 on each

                                       This is my plate of 3186 Loves - hastag #YOLO GF $19.5
                         Description: house cured salmon, potato hash, poached eggs, salmon roe, kale

Janet ordered: F.O.M.O pancakes $18.5
Description: lemon ricotta pancakes, caramelized fig, manuka honey, spiced mascarpone, pistachio fairy floss

H.X ordered: field of dreams (V) $16
Description: field mushrooms on superseed toast, poached eggs watercress, grueye cheese

A.M ordered: eggs bradley cooper ++ $19.5
Description: BSH special hollandaise, ham hock, poached eggs, field mushroom, english muffins

                                                          Tephanie snap pic time**
                                                                     Me & Janette

                         The group of FIVE pretty with 86,87,88,89...whoops NO not couting the numbers!

                                             Selfie time with a popping head out kekeke

                                       Alright next we get a professional staff for a nice pic!

After the fulfilling brunch, we head back to city for chanting time. Janette has to go for another meetup. Poor Ken Ji been waiting at Carlton while we on the way back from traffic jam...
That was real great outing with everyone and chant.

Daniel and James heading towards Uniqlo for some shopping, it's been awhile as James getting a suit for wedding tomorrow. Warm heatech jeans imma on my hand! =) James been very patient to getting his shopping done at Myer while we waiting at Brunetti for strawberry and coconut cakie!

Getting upset and more upset while thinking of D, totally understand how busy he is at the moment, but I desperate want attention and care, meeting me and spend sometime with me. Checking back at my dear diary, we have not been spending time together much in the past three weeks and putting me real down time. I want to say "Have you forgotten me? I miss you dearly, stay with me".

Sitting across Myer Brunetti, looking at those beautiful stockings. I ask James, what do you think about the first on the left? He go: "It looks like Christmas!" x.x err Finally he has got his complete suits for $277 and head on to Target for a nice black shoes for $50.

Koko Black @ The Arcade - Chocolate Tart with Vanilla Crest $8

Very enjoyable good evening to have a heart-to-heart dialogue and friendship bond growth.

Back to fighting for exam...

XoXo