High and Low Monday

Dearest,

Had conversation with H.X. while travelling on train, becoming strong for each other and supportive. Feel so grateful.

Reached uni. Print B2B hardcopy and drop at assignment box. Booked room at 12pm with Michael, Jess and Teresa. Then Winnie came to join us. Had lunch at 1.38pm Maccas. Michael started to ask about my 'boyfriend' and told him is 'Dylan' not your friend Dylan. LOL Explained a bit of background and everyone suddenly get interested in my age. Again! yes after Saturday. Winnie 86, me 87, Teresa 88, Michael and Jess forgotten haha... anyway I was defined as "look like 18". >_<"

I dressed up in peach colour jumper, grey skirt with Myer denim tartan pattern opaque stocking black and red to match my black shoes. Through this look, I think except living in Malaysia. Melburnians can hardly tell what's my exact age :p

Had a lot good discussion even while having Maccas talking about Japan and conversation in Japanese. Michael is gentleman :) offered me to throw away the rubbish. And he started to tease me about spreading rumours and we been talking about T.S. how he treat all the international students with that behaviour. Yuck.

Back to the room, with a little of squishy small room yet fulfilling discussion with examples are important to get through things to be covered in exam. I am so satisfy with discussion :) This is a good proper way to study and learning from each other. That reminds me how Geron teach me a lot for Accounting Principle in my 1st semester with Holmesglen.

Finished uni discussion. Left Holmesglen. Called him. He already at station. Cool. Meet at Flinders Station. Reach before him. Hate waiting and wasting time. Decided to walk home as no response from message. Collected mail, took cape, fill water bottle, pick up his books and games, left. Pwc, he called. Pass him books, can tell clearly written on the face "piss off". Rained, open umbrella. No plan of doing anything. I'm pissed off in my heart, did not show out at all.

Throughout tram journey to Melb Central. Give a very black face to me in public. I am not going to influence by your anger, I tell deeply inside my heart. "Control anger," I said. Still responding rudely to me. Great, silent. Sit down in food court. He sorted out the thing in bag. Environment does not influence my calmness. Continue talking how I feel... already told I need to move out soon and need to pack things, I will get angry when things left at last moment to stress me out. Already told must take these back to your own home to keep if you want. My house is not a store room for your toys. Emotional abusive me in public by giving me that pissed off "black face". I am positive and I will act so! Two or more people have to make efforts to meet each other, not just by your own selfish thought only. Have you put your feet in someone else shoes? Finished uni, straight seeing you and not having proper dinner yet so hungry. Where is the appreciation?

He continue moving on. I asked "where are we going?", "go down", he came to hug and say sorry.
"Well, give me a valid reason when you angry next time". Still... no plan for meeting up the guest. So ridiculous rude when invited someone to meet so early before meeting and wandering around. Should ask the guest if want to have dinner and what preference should go for.

Introduced myself to Toshi-san. Went Max Brenner for a drink. Got 2 mint chocolates and tutti frutti waffle. Somehow we talked about 'Akihabara - otaku' and I forgotten he hate to be defined as that. If that is the case, don't ever tell anyone your definition then.

Chanting for H.X. safe journey, Ethan Lo successful surgery and speedy recover, all students good grade in assignments and exams.

I am very very angry! Stop using "Do you not want to company me?" as threatening! I am not your substitution relative of happiness! Where is my companion when I need you? I just let you do freely whatever you want. Have you consider in my position? Only you are becoming monster right now to keep demanding for your own sake of happiness. Do you ever care about how I feel? I call this 'selfish' attitude from you. You stay after meeting because it's his first time. 3 Monday weeks in the past, I have been going home by myself, so where is my companion that I want? I remember you said to me "Am I not allowed to do my own thing?" it's time for me to return this sentence to you. But without saying that out, I chanted inside my heart throughout the journey walk back to home. Still I feel the sense of anger in myself that can't keep quiet. No. I must breakthrough and not having the same karma.

I'm gonna chant for you still!

xoxo